were i a good christian

were i a good christian, what traits would i show
enabling others my savior to know?
love as paul wrote of it? spiritual fruit?
but when self-examined, not one attribute!
no growth, no advance toward god's holy throne.
my friends sense no change as i press on alone.
the call seems so distant, the journey so long,
the way hard and wasted, and i am not strong.
my past fights to own me and tears flood my bed,
but jesus has loved me, and he is my head.
the promise of freedom burns deep in my heart
while i, far from perfect, am learning my part.
it's fight less and pray more and hold faith with care
and hope for his glory and push back despair.
it’s trust that as grace and truth wash through my soul
this servant to master can yet yield control.
then love i will show you! and peace deep and pure,
when i'm a good christian. oh, would that i were!